Good night, sweet prince, and may flights of angels sing thee to thy rest...

Alex has never been a tremendous sleeper. He has only slept through the night possibly three times in the last twelve months. Compared to other babies, though, I wouldn't consider him a problem sleeper. Until recently.

Up until three weeks ago, I felt like we had hit our stride. Alex was having two good naps during the day, settling himself to sleep at night at about seven pm, waking at eleven for a quick breastfeed, and then sleeping through until about seven am. It was fantastic. And then, all of a sudden, he stopped settling himself to sleep at night. He has been waking and refusing to go back to sleep for hours on end. Waking up at four-thirty or five am, and staying awake.

It's not just waking though. When he wakes, he screams hysterically. After he is picked up, he will generally fall asleep, but will wake up and resume screaming as soon as he is returned to his cot. We have also developed the technique of gently tickling or stroking his tummy or back and singing Christmas carols. This sometimes works, but more often than not, he wakes as soon as you leave the room.

I can only hope this is a phase. A phase that disappears very, very soon.

There is nothing worse than having your child scream and cry and refuse to sleep, and having no solution to deal with the situation. In today's society, we're used to the "quick fix". There is, however, no magic solution to your baby not sleeping properly. There is no switch you can flick. And quite often, when you do find something that works, within a week, it stops working and you have to find something new.

It's frustrating, exhausting, debilitating. It is incredibly confronting to be in your child's room at two in the morning, and fighting the temptation to throw them out the window. Anyone who has spent hours, sleep deprived, with a baby who just won't stop crying, and who won't sleep, could tell you that they begin to understand how someone could shake a baby. Sometimes you just need to put your baby down screaming, leave the room, get a drink, and give yourself a break before you go back.

A lot of mothers, particularly those who are successful in their career, find the sleep issue difficult. When they're used to being able to control what happens in their world, succeeding at everything they try, and then all of a sudden, this little person doesn't do "what they're supposed to". This can be really hard to deal with for some mums. And dads. It's almost as if you've failed.

I remember joking with Kel a few weeks ago that I needed to return my little one. His sleep function is faulty. Surely there's some kind of warranty for defects?

All I can take from this, though, is that it's a reminder that this little baby is a little person, and they will do what they want to do, and sleep when they want to sleep, and you cannot control that. It's a reminder of how amazing it is that not that long ago, this little individual was nothing more than biology, and now they have their own personality.

There has to be some positive that comes from sleep deprivation...

Santa Claus is coming to town

[standing outside a jewellers discussing what to buy Chandler's girlfriend for her birthday]
Chandler: I want to get her something serious.
Joey: You want to get her something serious, get her one of those.. ah.. barium enemas. Those are dead serious, and you know she'll never get one for herself.
Chandler: Look, I'm going in here and you don't buy me anything ever.

It's almost Christmas time! It's Alex's first Christmas, although he did score a few presents in utero last year. We went to get Alex's picture taken with Santa last weekend, which involved waiting in line for an hour and a half for the following result.

It's so much more fun having Christmas with children around. I always felt when we were growing up that Christmas just wasn't as fun without my younger cousins around, showing us what Santa brought for them, and just generally bringing the joy that children do when they're excited and all hepped up on sugar.

While we are yet to put up the Christmas tree this year, I am getting much more in the spirit than I have in the last few years. We're heading out to the vineyards for their Carols in the Gardens this weekend, and I do have Alex's Santa outfit ready to go. I love taking Alex through the shopping centres and showing him all of the lights, and Santas, and the general Christmas-a-rama.

It does bring to mind, however, how we're going to treat the "Santa" going forward. John is all for being up-front and telling him that Santa isn't real. I can see his point, but on the other side, Santa is such a fun part of being a child. I had two big sisters, so I don't think I ever really believed Santa was real, but I still pretended I did. I wrote the letter to the North Pole, we left out the milk & cookies, and had a pillow-case full of presents next to my bed in the morning. In fact, Santa still left presents next to my bed until I was about 19 or 20, and even after that, he was polite enough to leave some under the Christmas tree.

I have read research that says the children whose parents keep up the Santa pretence often feel a sense of disillusionment and betrayal when they eventually find out. It also brings to mind an un-named, incredibly innocent and somewhat precious sister-in-law who found her parents putting her Santa presents out when she was young, so they told her that Santa had in fact died, so they were taking over his role for her. She was devastated, but never actually discovered Santa wasn't real.

Fast forward to her moving to Australia and car-pooling to work with her brother-in-law, my darling husband, who, after hearing her sadness that Santa died, proceeded to tell her that Santa had not died, he just didn't go to Korea because they don't keep the Sabbath holy. My sweet sister-in-law didn't pick up on John's sarcasm, and was so excited about Santa being real, that when she got home she rang her Mum in Korea to tell her how excited she was, and how she couldn't wait to have children so Santa would bring presents, especially now her English was good enough that she could speak to Santa when she met him. No one had to heart to tell her the truth for such a long time. There's nothing worse than finding out about Santa when you're 23.

So I'm sure there's a balance somewhere in between letting your children be children, but not letting them feel betrayed at the lies when they discover the truth. I'm not sure what we'll tell Alex, but we have a few years before he really "gets" Santa anyway, so I guess we'll work out a story before then.

What's New

Dr. Zoidberg: I want the tactile pleasure in cutting him here... [points his claw at Fry's neck]... in the gonads.
Fry: [to crowd] Shhhhhh. Nobody correct him.

So a new week, and three new entries on the one day... As expected, my "blog" was well neglected for the last two weeks or so. I'm actually surprised it didn't take two months before I bothered writing anything again. Here's my catch-up from the past two weeks or so.

John had his first CPA exam. He may have passed. He doesn't know. We don't find out until January. I hope he has learnt his lesson and will actually study for future subjects.

On a high note, this does mean we can do things as a family without feeling that guilt that you feel when you know you should be studying but you're not. I spent the whole of my extremely long academic career feeling that feeling, and I don't enjoy feeling it on behalf of other people now as well.

We do intend on visiting Blackbutt soon, now Alex is starting to be interested in animals. He seems to like dogs, but cats still freak him out a little. Which is fine by me.

Alex has started cruising around the furniture like a bandit, and now has a variety of tiny bruises and scratches up his legs to show for it. He tends to get a little ambitious sometimes, which inevitably leads to a hard fall to the bottom, or even worse, a big knock on the head on the floor boards. He has now discovered he can easily stand up in his cot, after somehow wiggling out of his sleeping bag. Quite cute when you go in and he's happily just standing up smiling at you when you walk in the door.

I can't believe he's ten months old already. I'm starting to think about plans for the First Birthday Party. I know the first birthday is a pretty important occasion in the Korean culture, so we probably will make it a slightly bigger deal than we would otherwise. I want to do the Korean traditions, like dressing him up in the hanbuk, and laying out a table of items that Alex chooses from to show his future. I've already picked the cake I'll make. It just sucks that it's at New Years and lots of people won't be able to come. Poor Alex will have to live with that happening for the rest of his youth.

That's about it... It's now 4pm, and Alex has been asleep for four hours. I feel I'll have to wake him now or he'll never sleep tonight.

The Ergo Baby Carrier - a Review

I've never really written a review before (except under duress at school), so I thought I'd start with something I actually liked as my first go.

Up front, I'm saying I LOVE my Ergo baby carrier. For the first six months or so, we were using the Baby Bjorn that we inherited off Kel & Jason. It had its merits, but I couldn't really tell you them, because I physically couldn't use it. John was fine with it. Alex loved being in it. However, carrying 9.5kg all on your shoulders did not work for me. I used it once when Alex was 6 months old (and 9.5kg) to run into the shops for 10 minutes. It took me 3 days, constant headaches, and intense shoulder massages before I felt normal again.

I first saw the Ergo baby carrier while shopping with Mum and the sisters, and Kel tried it on. When we got home, I did a little research and I couldn't find anything negative about it. Everyone loved their Ergo. So, having convinced John it would be awesome to have one, we ended up having to drive to the 'Fd to actually purchase one. They are quite in demand.

We ended up going with the maroon standard model. Personally I would have preferred the canvas colour, but John wasn't a fan. The colour would be my first picking point. If I had my time again, I definitely wouldn't get the maroon colour. It fades like anything. I spoke to a lady wearing a maroon Ergo in David Jones a few weeks ago, and while hers was about 6 months older than mine, it looked worn. I think the canvas colour would probably hide that level of wear and tear a little better.

Anyway, the thing that works best about the Ergo is the bit that wraps around your waist. This is where the weight is carried. The first time I tried it on with my little 10kg Beef Cake in it, I could barely feel his weight on my shoulders.

There are three carry positions, two of which do require watching the instructional video to get the hang of, but you have the option of front, side or back. It took a few days to get used to putting him in to the front carry position, but it was intuitive enough. To be honest, I still find putting him on my back a little challenging, but I can do it fairly easily at home. I haven't really attempted it when out by myself though. I haven't felt a need to use the side position, but maybe as he gets older, this might be of use.

One of the few negatives is that there isn't an option to have bub facing forward with the Ergo, and Alex loves facing forwards. He isn't unhappy facing me the whole time though, and I guess when bub is on your back, they probably have more of a chance to look around.

I have also found that Alex gets very hot if he falls asleep in the Ergo. There is a hood you can place over bub's head when he or she falls asleep, which looks a little odd at first, but it is effective, and the baby really can breathe... It does require you to dislocate your shoulders just a little if bub falls asleep on your back and you want to put the hood over his head (highly recommended). Alex hates waking up with the hood over his head, but hey, who wouldn't. He also tends to have a sweaty head after he wakes up also. However, I don't think would change if he fell asleep in any other baby carrier. Body heat is body heat.

The Ergo has absolutely made a world of difference to my every day life. Alex used to hate being in the pram, which made shopping crap. He would scream for the entire time, but as he was so heavy, I couldn't carry him, and then had to endure strangers informing me that my son must be hungry and that I should feed him. I can now easily chuck him in the Ergo as soon as he starts fussing, which also leads to the fun shopping game of "poke mummy in the face".

I can also pop Alex on my back while I cook dinner in the afternoon, which is normally the time when he is at his fussiest, and saves me having to put Go Diego Go on to entertain him.

To carry a newborn, you also require the extra Infant Support, which is an extra $35 or so, but as we get got ours when Alex was well past the infant stage, I couldn't tell you how this works. We do intend on using it for our next bub, so we'll see how it goes then.

So to summarise:

The Good Stuff

• Can carry up to a 4 year old without causing permanent internal damage
• Choice of carry positions
• Reasonably intuitive to use in the front-carry position
• Very comfortable to wear
• Has an in-built pocket if you only wanted to carry your mobile and some money around
• Has a hook at the top of the shoulder should you wish to hang a toy for bub to play with
• Can breastfeed bub discreetly on the go in the front-carry position (as long as you have an appropriate outfit)

The Bad Stuff

• Can be a little hot
• Using the hood when bub is on your back requires the flexibility of Romanian gymnast
• Our colour (maroon) tends to show wear and tear
• A little more expensive than other baby carriers

I still can't understand how the Baby Bjorn is as popular as it is, when it distinctly blows.

Another good thing about the Ergo is that it's a great conversation starter. It seems to be the rule that if you see someone else wearing an Ergo, you must then stop and discuss how fabulous it is. Or even a delighted "oh, snap!" at the other person as you pass to show your Ergo pride.

So don't get sucked into the Baby Bjorn farce. The Ergo is worth absolutely every cent. On my brand new (somewhat arbitrary) rating scale, I give it a 9.5/10.

The Organic Yuppie Yummy Mummy

Women dress alike all over the world: they dress to be annoying to other women. - Elsa Schiaparelli

In my mummyhood, I've started to notice a new sub-group of Mummies. The best way to describe them is, as in the above title, the Organic Yuppie Yummy Mummy. Here's how to spot one of these:

• They tend to reside in the inner city.
• Their husband or partner works as a fairly well-paid professional
• Both are well-educated, and the child is involved in a variety of activities from a young age
  
• They, and their child, are dressed head to toe in labels
• When not in labels, the child is dressed head to toe in organic bamboo clothing
  
• Their child eats nothing but organic food stuffs
• Their child wears organic bamboo Modern Cloth Nappies
• Pram is either Bugaboo, Phil&Ted, Mountain Buggy, or similar higher-end model
• There may or may not be an air of pretentiousness
  

I could go on, but I'm sure you get the picture.

I have noticed these mummies for a while now, but it was at Alex's music class that I really noticed the trend. In amongst the Chanel thongs, the gorgeous maxi-dresses, the cutie in pink Ralph Lauren sneakers, the perfect hair, the stunning tans, I started to feel a little intimidated. Luckily I had dressed up a little for the first class, and Alex was in a cute outfit. I started to get the feeling that yes, Alex and I were going to have to start dressing well for every week...

The Organic Yuppie Yummy Mummy is an unexpected mix. Almost an urban hippy, while embracing blatant consumerism. It is fashionable these days to only use organic products, be it food or nappies, but at the same time, only the most expensive organic products will do. Being seen to be doing the organic thing. I can't help cringing whenever I hear a mum, with a huge sense of pride, telling how they only use such and such brand because it's "organic". I question what the baby actually gets out of it.

It actually reminds me of a South Park episode where Kyle's father bought a hybrid car, which leads the family to move to San Fransisco, after Randy tells Gerald that he has become so smug he loves the smell of his own farts. Once in San Fransisco, Kyle's family are among other like-minded folk, who, mid-conversation, fart, bend over and inhale before resuming their conversation. If you can draw the parallel.

It's not just the organic products though. It's the high-end products that many parents feel a need to purchase, even though there is generally no advantage using that product over the less fashionable brand.

On one level, I'm a little jealous. I wish I was pushing the Bugaboo pram. I wish I had a wardrobe that wasn't filled with cheap $10 shirts from Valley Girl, or wherever was having a sale. I was glad I'd left our pram in the car that day, and that Alex wasn't wearing his slightly tattered hand-me-down shoes. I wish I could justify the expense of $40 each for the lovely organic bamboo MCNs. I wish I could tan effectively. I wish I was an organic yuppie yummy mummy.

On the other hand, it almost appears to me that the mums that must have the "must have" items almost treat their baby as a fashion accessory. Their baby must be wearing the "right" clothes, their fashionable nappy bag must be hanging from their stylish pram.

While I have no qualms with following fashions for yourself, I do question the practicality of some of these purchases for children. I like to have brand names too. I just don't see the point with brand names for children. They don't appreciate that they're wearing a Leona Edminston dress when they're 14 months old. They'd be just as happy wearing a five dollar onesie from Big W. To me, it's as simple as styling your child as a fashion accessory for yourself. An extra handbag, if you will.

I mentioned to John the other week how I wished we could have had a Bugaboo pram, and he reminded me the reason we got our pram was because we wanted a sturdy pram we would jog with, which neither the Stokke or Bugaboo options lend themselves too. I'm glad I have my husband to give me a sense of reality.

I don't really hold it against anyone who has the funds, and buys what they buy because they honestly believe it meets their needs. It's when people who don't have the funds think they must have these items when things aren't so great. I think celebrity worship is to blame in part, particularly after the latest wave of celebrity babies hitting the streets. We know Angelina, Naomi and Nicole are using particular products, and damn it, we want it too. Regardless of the fact that these celebrity mums have a slightly larger income than the average mum around here, deep down, we just want to do what the cool kids are doing.

I know it doesn't really matter though, and Alex is doing fine without any bamboo clothing. I'm still spending the next few days picking out what to wear to the next music class though.

So this is a blog...

Quote for the Day:

"Eh, it's a long story involving my son, a rum cake, and a low counter. Suffice to say, it turns out that, at first, it's... it's endearing to watch them bounce off of the walls, but man... you take your eyes off them for one second... and bam! They got a bucket on their head, and they're plowing right through your brand new flat screen TV." - Dr Cox

I hadn't heard of a "blog" until last year. All of a sudden, everyone was like "ooh, check out my blog", "ooh, did you see XX's blog?", etc. I was pretty keen to not jump on the bandwagon, with a minimal care factor. However, now my darling husband has his own blog re our son and headphones, and I can always use more ways to avoid doing housework, I decided to dip my toe in the bandwagon... (get it?)

So what to write about? I have few veritable interests, besides music, movies, a little bit of photography, and of course my family and friends. So I guess I can write about them. Most importantly, my boys. So I might document our life, plus chuck in a few random reviews while I'm at it. Never reviewed anything before, but with the amount of baby products we have been using, and experimenting with, I think I can think of a few things to say about them...

So about me. I'm 29, have been married to my husband John for about 2 and a bit years, and we have a gorgeous son, Alex, who is almost 10 months old. John and I were in the same year at high school, have been best friends since we were 20, then housemates since we were 23, a couple since we were 24, then married when we were 26.

About John: he's 6 foot, Korean, music lover, headphone addict, "tech-savvy" (i.e. huge nerd), incredibly intelligent yet academically lazy, commercial accountant, CPA studying, lover of fine food, amazing guitar player, basketballer, football mad, Liverpool supporter, smiles all the time, and has impeccable taste in movies.

Me: generally average. I'm a stay-at-home mum. I have 2 & 1/2 degrees - my BA (in psychology), 1/2 an early childhood degree, and my B. Commerce degree. I am an accountant (when working). I love music and play piano. I have a mum & a dad, two big sisters, who I adore, two nieces, one nephew, and another niece or nephew due in early February (I know which, but not allowed to say).

I don't like watching too much TV, but I am a big fan of the TV in general. My current favourites list is Gilmore Girls ("they talk so fast, but they talk from the heart"), Scrubs, Seinfeld, Heroes (just started watching season one, and am so addicted), Buffy (perennial favourite), Futurama... Movies are also a great time waster, but with our little A-man around, I tend to stick more to the 40 minute length options than the 2 hour movies. My current all-time favourite list includes The Royal Tennenbaums, Garden State, The Departed, movies of the Kevin Smith oeuvre, Juno... Need to start watching some new stuff.

So anyway, what's happening at this juncture in our lives...

John is a few days away from his first CPA exam, which I can only assume he hopes will be similar to the review quiz at the end of Go Diego Go, with the amount of study he's done. I cannot wait for him to finish this subject, so we can enjoy doing stuff without feeling guilty about him not studying.

Alex's two front top teeth have cut through! Much less painful than when the bottom two came through. He has been a little cross the last week or so, but hey, who hasn't. He does look super cute with just the bottom two teeth. I'm sure the top two won't take away from the cuteness though.

We're in the midst of seeing if we want to switch to cloth nappies instead of disposables. We're currently spending about $20 a week or so on disposables, which is fairly outrageous. We've so far purchased one MCN (Modern Cloth Nappy) from Ebay, from Hong Kong, and are giving that a trial before we buy any others. Once we've finished our rigorous testing regime, that may be my first review. The cost of MCNs is also a little outrageous ($35 for a nappy!!), but I guess they do work out much cheaper in the long run. Plus we can use them for our next bubba also.

Hmm, what else... I have a five year plan. My lovely friend Jillbert inspired me with her five month plan a few months ago, but I got a little carried away and made a five year plan instead. By December, I was supposed to have lost 7kg, and we were supposed to have made the backyard presentable. Okay, we still have two months, but neither goal is really coming to fruition as yet.

I've been "chubby" for a while now, but I was reasonably happy with my weight before I was pregnant with Alex, but have kind of sadly plateaued at my post-birth weight since Alex was born. Not cool. I have a gym membership I haven't used for a few weeks, but have started trying to go for a 2 km walk every day, and quit the snacking... Somehow I feel I'll need to do something a little more intensive to reach my goal in 2 months though.

Anyway, enough about me. Alex is up from his nap now, so back into Mummy-mode...